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“No Contact” Means Zero Contact
The judge couldn’t couldn’t have been clearer. Violating an order of protection is forbidden in New York:
“Stay away from Jane Doe wherever she may be. Stay away from her home, her school, her place of business. Don’t communicate with Ms. Doe. Don’t contact her by telephone, text, email, carrier pigeon, smoke signal, ESP, through third parties, or by any other means.”
I was standing right next to you. I heard you tell the judge you understood the no-contact restraining order.
Even though you didn’t seem confused, I explained it to you again, in the hallway outside the courtroom: you can’t have any contact with Ms. Doe – none, zero, zilch.
It’s the Law, Not a Suggestion
You’re tempted to treat the order of protection (“restraining order”) as a suggestion, rather than a command that has the force of law behind it – even though the Court also gave you this command orally and in writing.
I referred you to a guide to orders of protection. I wrote that guide to help you understand how violating an order of protection can affect you in New York.
When the judge orders you to obey an order of protection, that’s the law – written by the judge, and directly addressed to you. It’s not a suggestion.
When you violate the order, you break the law: you could go to jail.
It’s Her Order, Right? Wrong.
The order is for Ms. Doe’s benefit, after all. So she must have authority to permit you to violate it. Makes sense, right?
WRONG!
The order of protection is an order written by the Court. It’s not an order written by Ms. Doe.
Until no order exists, Ms. Doe has no authority to let you contact her. No authority at all.
Setting You Up for a Bigger Fall
Ms. Doe is doing everything she can to persuade you she’s on your side.
She’s also urging you to violate the order of protection:
- Ms. Doe waited for you on the sidewalk outside the courthouse when the judge released you.
- She’s texting 24/7: “Baby, I luv u! I miss u! Come home! No one will ever know …”
- She told your mom she called the police only to calm things down. She’s horrified they arrested you. She pleaded with them not to. She’ll never cooperate with the DA – not in a million years.
It’s so tempting to get back together.
How could the Court even know you’re violating an order of protection? There are so many ways.
List: 10 Ways to Get Caught
Never violate a court order!
If you won’t heed this advice out of respect for the law, follow it because the District Attorney has so many opportunities to prove you are violating an order of protection.
If you’re caught violating an order of protection, police will arrest you again. You’ll be charged with “criminal contempt”. If convicted, you could go to jail for up to a year. Longer, if you’re convicted of a felony.
Here are 10 ways to get caught violating an order of protection:
One: Answering the Door
You answer the door when “domestic violence officers” from the local precinct make a follow-up visit to the home where Ms. Doe and you lived when police arrested you.
Because the no-contact order specifically directs you to stay away from Ms. Doe’s home, you’re violating the order even though Ms. Doe’s home was also your home.
You’re violating the order even if your name is on the lease and Ms. Doe’s name isn’t on the lease!
You’re violating an order of protection even if Ms. Doe lives there while paying no rent, while you remain financially responsible for the lease.
Two: Driver
Ms. Doe is seated in the front passenger seat when police pull you over for a traffic infraction.
The order of protection and Ms. Doe’s name both pop up when the officer runs your driver’s license.
Three: Passenger
You’re seated in the front passenger seat when police pull Ms. Doe over for a traffic infraction.
The restraining order pops up when the officer runs Ms. Doe’s driver’s license. So does your name, and your physical description.
Four: On a Plane
Running your name through a database as you re-enter the US, Customs sees an order of protection against you.
Customs determines you are traveling with Ms. Doe because: a) you and Ms. Doe are walking together, side by side; b) you and/or Ms. Doe admit you’re traveling together; and c) the flight manifest lists you and Ms. Doe occupying adjacent seats on the same flight.
Don’t Violate an Order of Protection
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Five: Conceiving a Child
You and Ms. Doe are the parents named in your child’s birth certificate. Given the date of birth, your child could have been conceived only while the order of protection was in effect.
The birth certificate and a DNA test will prove you violated the order.
Six: Security Cameras
Security cameras at the entrance to Ms. Doe’s apartment building record you entering and exiting Ms. Doe’s building on numerous occasions while the order was in effect.
Seven: Inmate Phone Calls
Rikers Island records all inmate telephone calls, including your calls to Ms. Doe. The DA reviews these recordings in domestic violence cases.
On one recording, the DA hears you speak with Ms. Doe, in violation of the order – telling Ms. Doe that the judge will dismiss your case if she doesn’t come to court.
The DA hears every other recording of you speaking with Ms. Doe. Each conversation is a separate violation of the order of protection. Ten recorded conversations equals ten separate charges that could be filed against you. Forty recorded conversations equals ….
Eight: Family Members
Ms. Doe’s sister Beth knows about the order. She calls the police to tell them that you’re at Beth’s house right now, violating it.
Beth does this because she’s mad at Ms. Doe, she hates you, or both.
Nine: Your Next Argument with Ms. Doe
You and Ms. Doe have a disagreement.
Ms. Doe wins the argument by calling 911, and reporting: 1) She has a restraining order against you; and 2) You’re at her house right now, violating the order.
Ten: Revenge
Ms. Doe suspects you’ve been cheating on her.
Ms. Doe retaliates by showing police all the texts and emails you’ve been sending her since the judge issued the order of protection.
When police arrest you, you show them the texts and emails on your phone, to prove that Ms. Doe initiated communication with you – she begged you to get back together.
Unfortunately, the messages on your phone are additional proof you violated the order.
Tip of the Iceberg
These are typical ways a person might get caught violating an order of protection – not the only ways. There are many, many more.
No plan to violate an order of protection is close to being foolproof.
Respect for the law should be reason enough not to violate an order of protection.
But if the Penal Law doesn’t motivate you, remember Murphy’s Law: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”
Never violate an order of protection.
Free Consultation
Bruce Yerman is a domestic violence lawyer in New York City. His office is located on the fourth floor of 160 Broadway in Manhattan.
If you’d like a free consultation to discuss criminal defense or family law, call Bruce at:
Or email Bruce a brief description of your situation:
In my situation I never asked for it. There was an incident, I took the girls for the weekend, he got upset and called the cops when I took the girls, and they contacted me. I told them what happened, not knowing their intentions, and said I didn’t want an order or an arrest. I went back home Sunday night and we made peace and agreed to see a councilor. The police sent a SWATT team the following Friday, entering my home with my children in their beds, dragging him to jail, without resistance by the way, and handcuffed me on the porch even though I was standing there calmly while my children woke to 5 men with guns in their room. What followed was me getting sued by CPS and a legal battle that has lasted 1yr and 4months. Today, even though there have been no violations, he did everything asked of him, has no record, and I asked for it to be removed, the order was made final for 5 years. We’ve been together 14 years without incident until this one which was months of frustration in the making and through therapy I understand I had a part to play in it. That is not victim speech, it’s maturity and understanding. I spoke to the prosecutor, the DA, wrote a victims statement, all saying please get rid of it so my family can heal. My children were not even aware of the incident and were ripped from their home and father the last year and 4 months. They were 3 and 4 and are now 4 and 6. They want to see their father and go home. CPS has done nothing to help us reunite and now with the protection order, there is only a carve out for the girls, not us. There is no fairness in this for any of us. I understand some women need protection, but I do not. The victim, after this long especially, should have a say. This has been a huge financial and emotional burden on the girls and I and obviously their father. We are still not home, with no path forward. I’m being told I can’t vacate a final order. We aren’t on drugs, we don’t drink, we just had a terrible moment. I have no clue what to do. I just hope CPS eventually leaves me alone, because I did nothing wrong and completed their inane, pointless services. I did it right. I left. I asked for help, not punishment. Sometimes, victims don’t feel like victims because we know we are not. I love him purely, past his one indiscretion, and I did not sign up to be a single mother. I chose to have a family of forgiveness, patience and understanding. Being ripped apart by the system and then told to stay away from either is insane. It isn’t fair. 5 years? The girls will be 9 and 11. The most important developmental years spent without a father’s love, words, lessons, and knowledge. I don’t know how they can do this, it makes no sense to me. I don’t know where I’m going to live, as I’m still at my parent’s house and cant stay here after family court causing burden on them. I don’t know how I’m going to fight this.I wanted more children. We were starting a business, we had plans to travel again. All dashed because the state interfered in a situation no one asked them to interfere with.
11. you sneak over to janes house for a late night booty call
after she convinces you to come over and you haven’t even gotten your pants off when police, who have been monitoring your phones location live and got a notification that it was in close proximity to janes phone, bust in her door and catch you together.
* note: No, not yet, but, very, very soon, this will be so.
In that case the “ order” affect both victim and offender, I don’t think arrests should be made against victims wish. victim should come first because the order was meant to protect victim if Victim and offender get along then government should stay out of their business and no arrest should be made, court should simply contact Janes and let her know that because she is the one who invited her perpetrator in her house or in her life then there is no need to continue no contact order against defendant.
DA should grant witness or victim the right to file emotion to lift no “contact order” because many no contact order affect victims especially when order is placed against family members.
Yeah, except the victim is often scared and trauma bonded to the offender. I was terrified when my abuser went to jail. But the NCO made sure I was safe. Many people don’t realize the NCO makes sure no matter how mad they are they can’t do anything without you’re okay. They show up? Call the cops. They text? Call the cops etc.